Pet Loss Library
Printer-friendly versionWhen an animal loved one dies Page 4
Continued
Often a family's first encounter with death is that of a pet's. Animals teach us how to deal with life's passing. I believe my animals died in the order they did to help me manage the grieving process, and I am very grateful to them for their wisdom and sacrifice.
Smith also talks about people who feel they've let their animals down because they weren't with them at the exact moment they left this world. She feels that some can't leave while their humans are hovering, and they need space to pass on. "It is very common for animals, like people, to die when everyone leaves them alone," Smith says. According to her, it's not unusual for some animals to die in order to follow their person to the other side. I am reminded of a friend who lost his wife to cancer and within three months of her death, their dog and two cats died too.
Some people will be ready to get a new animal right away; others may need a lot more recovery time before they are willing to risk their hearts again. Some may feel disloyal for "replacing" the pet that died. I knew I needed to fill my empty arms immediately, but I questioned getting another dog since Alex's loss had been so profound. I've heard many pet owners proclaim they'd never love another pet the way they had loved the one they'd lost.
Since I had sold my home and was living in a place with no yard, a dog was temporarily out of the question. And so my daughter and I began our new family with two Siamese kitten cousins, Willyum and Shadow, in addition to Phoebe. Having these new little beings to love was very healing. Still I longed for a dog. I couldn't pass one on the street without stopping. And so as soon as I could, I moved us again into a house and we got our beautiful Vizsla puppy named Cecil.
Cecil picked my daughter and me. When we went to see the puppies, which were just two weeks old, this little guy wiggled out of the heap, his eyes still closed, and wobbled toward us. He reached out with his tiny paw until he found our fingers. He came running to us each week that we visited him, until we could bring him home. He knew we were his. Now I have velvet ears to kiss and puppy fur to sniff again. He reminds me of Alex every day. For awhile, my daughter was convinced he was Alex. She would look at the new animals wondering if the old ones were somehow inside them. Smith feels that many companion animals do, in fact, return to their people. Some within weeks, others take years. I asked her how one would know if an animal has reincarnated and she said the new pet would show signs, like imitating habits or demonstrating preferences of the former pet. You may think an animal has come back, but he could be a new soul who is a lot like the one you lost, who has been sent to help you in the same way his predecessor did. "Wait and trust. The universe will provide," affirms Smith.
Part of the inherent contract we make with our animals is that we will take care of them and they will predecease us. Once I experienced the death of my pets, I realized I could survive it. As painful as it was, I knew I could endure it again. That freedom in knowing releases me to welcome new pets and receive all the joy their new lives bring. Smith offers hope to those of you whose grief is lingering; "Death is not the end. It is the change from one realm and form of life to another." Amen.
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