Everyone has attended an impersonal funeral service at least once. We attend the service out of duty and respect to our loved one, but five minutes into a generic reading in which the decedent’s name is inserted, or not, into a script, we look at our watches wondering when it will be over. No one cries. No one laughs. No one reacts. In fact, the service could be for anyone.

Celebrant funerals are transforming traditional fill-in-the-blank services by sharing life stories.

A Certified Funeral Celebrant is a person who serves the family by providing a personal tribute to reflect the life of the deceased. A family meeting with a celebrant opens the doors to memories that bring both smiles and tears.

“When given a choice, many families are choosing celebrants to conduct services. As the trend grows, celebrants are serving families nearly every day in Washington and Oregon,” noted Glenda Stansbury, Dean of the Oklahoma City based In-Sight Institute, which trains clergy and non-clergy to become Certified Funeral Celebrants. There are approximately 15 certified Celebrants in Oregon and 25 in Washington and more than 1,200 In-Sight Celebrants that have been trained nationally to help families who are grieving.

For Dee Mitchell of Portland, Oregon, her calling to become a Certified Funeral Celebrant was personal.

“I became a celebrant after the death of my husband and then ten months later my mother. Their services were different. My husband’s service was very personal and honored him but my mother’s service did not turn out that way. I will always regret that,” Mitchell explained. “One of my favorite services was for a 58-year-old mom. She loved to play music and danced with her children from the time they were small. We played ‘Twist and Shout’ and ‘Wake Up Little Susie’ at her service.”

Celebrant Dianne Rush of Springfield, Oregon, enjoys researching a life story.

“A fun twist to my services for the elderly is to include bits of history and create a time table of the person’s life with the happenings of the day,” Rush explained. “I include the prices of things in the past such as the cost of a loaf of bread was 29 cents or a 3-bedroom house cost $8,000. This seems to help the grandchildren and great-grandchildren relate better to Grandma’s life and make the stories come alive for the younger generation.”

Celebrants Carol and Lowell Knopp, owners and funeral directors of Daniels Chapel of the Valley in La Grande, Oregon, saw a need for personalized services.

“We found that some of the services were lacking in quality and families would rather have no service than a religious service where the deceased’s name is only mentioned once or twice,” Carol said. “As a celebrant, I want the audience to leave feeling good about the life the person led and to cherish the memories they have.”

Life Celebrant Linda Haddon of Oak Harbor, Washington, has performed over 700 funeral services.

“I became a Celebrant because I was sick of hearing bad funerals. I was widowed in 1982 and can’t remember a thing about the service except it was large. It should have been memorable,” Haddon explained. “Now, as a Celebrant, I hear the same thing over and over: ‘This is the best service I’ve ever attended. How did they find you?’ People are looking for an honest tribute to their loved one. They do not want a sermon – even the most religious folks still want their loved one remembered.”

Haddon recognizes that each service is unique because every life story is different.

“I did a service for a family that had eight children. Their mother died and the children hadn’t spoken in years since their father died. I went to the house for the family meeting and they were all camped in different rooms – no one talking to anyone. They expected me to go room to room to interview each group, but I said, ‘If you want me to do this service, you will all have to come in here and sit down.’ In a few minutes, they were all in the room and shared,” Haddon explained. “At the graveside, they all arrived separately. At the end of the service, the oldest daughter asked me to play a song. It was about a dysfunctional family and was a real tearjerker. The next day, I got a call from that oldest daughter thanking me for the miracle. They all had dinner together after the graveside and she thought it was because of the healing service.”

Tom Isenhart, who has been conducting memorials and funerals for more than thirty years, works as a celebrant with the Mountain View Funeral Home and Cemeteries in Tacoma, Washington.

“I’ve done over 500 services during my career. I work all over the Puget Sound region and get calls from all kinds of families,” Isenhart said. “There are many pastors that just do not have the time to assist those in the community with no church affiliation. The congregation that I serve along with my staff, view my role as celebrant as a service to our community. Our motive is simple: We care.”

Isenhart has conducted a variety of services, but one stands out as challenging.

“I was asked to do a memorial for a teenager that committed suicide. The family wanted nothing religious, no scriptures, nor any mention of faith. Not even a prayer. I discovered after the service, that I was the last on a long list of prominent leaders that were contacted to officiate the gathering. No one else would take the challenge,” Isenhart explained. “The room was filled with young people, all of whom were very emotional. It was a very sad day for them, as well as the parents who were saying goodbye to their only son. Without Celebrant training, I would not have had a clue how to handle this one. It is important the clergy not shrink back from the need to be there and serve. It was gratifying to help these people and give them some hope and direction for the future after such a loss. All this done, without preaching to them.”

In Lynnwood, Washington, Celebrant and Humanist Minister Julie Wirtz focuses on the common values in the room.

“Rather than divide the group by religious lines, I saw a need for providing a more inclusive service that focuses on basic human values and feelings,” Wirtz said. “The most meaningful service I’ve conducted, I got to know the most incredible woman through the stories told to me by her friends and family. The way this woman lived her life was such an inspiration to those around her and even inspired me after her death. Having friends and family of the decedent actively participate helps them to deal with the grief.”

Celebrant Char Barrett from Seattle, Washington, added that families trust her to express their words, feelings, emotions and grief about a loved one.

“It is a true privilege to be invited into a families’ life at such a sacred moment as the passing of a loved one,” Barrett said. “Once, a family created a final graveside ritual by releasing a thousand brilliantly colored paper cranes over the casket as it was being lowered slowly into the ground, blanketing it in the colors of her life. That was a sacred moment.”

Journalist Pam Vetter is also a certified funeral celebrant.
Her email is [email protected] and website: http://www.celebrantpam.com.
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